Dean 3LOLs into Third Term

October 26, 2026 · By Lawn Review Staff · Vol. II, Issue 1

When asked how he plans to spend his third term, the dean of Berkeley Law replied “I don’t fucking know. I guess I’ll fart out another couple of books. Who gives a shit… 3LOL MOTHA FUCKA!!! Warmly, Erwin.”

The eternal dean vowed to change his name to “Chemerdrinksky” for this one. Bragging that he plans to “outdo Putin,” he explained that he felt this third term would really be his opportunity to let loose. “I just feel like it is finally time for me to actually live a little. I have spent these last two terms really grinding ‘cause I’m planning to go Big Law and maybe even clerk, but now that I’ve locked in those HHs, I feel like I’m ready to just chill out and coast this last term.”

The dean has vowed to dedicate more time to outreach for the law school: “I’m gonna help those frat kids sledgehammer the shit out of that car parked across the way. I’d like to see them try and stop a dean from kaplowing that beat-up jalopy. Oooh weee! It’s gonna be a good five years boys. Swervin’ Chemerdrinksky is back and ready to rumble! Did you know the Paper Chase was about me!? I’m him, bitch.”