California Bar Association Adds New Test Fee Because Fuck You, Pay Me

January 6, 2023 · By Lawn Review Staff · Vol. I, Issue III

Sacramento, CA – Beginning with the July 2023 Bar exam administration, California law students will see a new fee tacked onto their test costs. In service to its boundless rapaciousness, the Bar is instituting an additional $200 charge listed on its website as the “Fuck You, Pay Me Fee.”

Law students are lamenting the change as it raises the cost of an already absurdly expensive, malicious, and exploitative system that only brains decayed by decades of exposure to the legal profession can even attempt to justify. This cost comes on top of the nearly $700 exam cost, $119 Bar registration fee, $153 laptop fee, and $551 moral character inquiry. “The new fee is a definite bummer,” said 3L Monica Armenz, who plans to sit for the July exam. “But honestly, they’ve worn me down too much to fight back anymore. What’s an additional $200 when I’m already $200k in the hole?”

The California Bar Association gave no explanation of the increased cost when it announced the new fee. Several individuals close to the matter did not formally refuse to comment but when asked “Why? Why are you doing this to us? Have you no humanity?” they broke into such raucous, full body laughter that they were physically unable to respond. Though the move is unjustifiable by any reasonable standards of fairness, it is technically within the organization’s powers as the unilateral, unchecked authority that may set whatever arbitrary, onerous, and financially extractive requirements it needs to increase its power and lucrativeness. “What do you mean, ‘why are you doing this?’” said Josiah Turpentine, a communications manager for the California Bar. “Because. We. Can. And there’s nothing you grubby little students can do lmaoooooo losers, broke losers.”